In earlier posts and on the About page, I mentioned that I've been reading lots of books this year and learning new things about myself - or things that I kind of knew but didn't really know. You know what I mean- right?
Besides The Desire Map, which I've already mentioned, there are two other books that I've found very helpful and led to my activity for today. I talk about these books in the "Read More" section below.
One of the things I've always known about myself but never really valued is that I get lots of ideas. Two of the books below helped me to see that this is a strength of mine and I now have a notebook dedicated to my ideas where I write about each idea as it comes to me.
Besides The Desire Map, which I've already mentioned, there are two other books that I've found very helpful and led to my activity for today. I talk about these books in the "Read More" section below.
One of the things I've always known about myself but never really valued is that I get lots of ideas. Two of the books below helped me to see that this is a strength of mine and I now have a notebook dedicated to my ideas where I write about each idea as it comes to me.
My Ideas for Today
Today, I woke up (or got up) and wrote down two ideas . I won't get too specific in case either of them do happen.
The Game
The first idea was for a game - it would either be a board game or a game with cards and a few props. It could also have an app and an accompanying book. The idea came from an impromptu game the kids were playing and it appealed to me because kids of different ages could play and it was also an active game that might appeal to active, competitive kids.
The Story
The other was an idea for a story that came during a sleepless night (one good thing that came from my insomnia). It would be a YA novel - or two actually - and the idea came when I was lying in bed thinking about the messages we send our children about being smart vs. working hard.
In so many of the movies and stories they see and read, the main characters are the main characters because of destiny or fate and they have no real agency in their futures. Or the main character wants to exceed his limitations (as a slug or something) or what other people are telling him are his limitations and something magical happens that help him exceed those limitations. The initial idea is great but the idea that something magical needs to happen to help someone achieve their goals is not what I would want my children to believe.
These ideas may or may not turn into something, but what the books I talk about below have helped me to do is to value them regardless of if they happen and they also helped me to feel OK about talking about them here. I should send those author's a thank you note!
The Game
The first idea was for a game - it would either be a board game or a game with cards and a few props. It could also have an app and an accompanying book. The idea came from an impromptu game the kids were playing and it appealed to me because kids of different ages could play and it was also an active game that might appeal to active, competitive kids.
The Story
The other was an idea for a story that came during a sleepless night (one good thing that came from my insomnia). It would be a YA novel - or two actually - and the idea came when I was lying in bed thinking about the messages we send our children about being smart vs. working hard.
In so many of the movies and stories they see and read, the main characters are the main characters because of destiny or fate and they have no real agency in their futures. Or the main character wants to exceed his limitations (as a slug or something) or what other people are telling him are his limitations and something magical happens that help him exceed those limitations. The initial idea is great but the idea that something magical needs to happen to help someone achieve their goals is not what I would want my children to believe.
These ideas may or may not turn into something, but what the books I talk about below have helped me to do is to value them regardless of if they happen and they also helped me to feel OK about talking about them here. I should send those author's a thank you note!
Book 1 - My Core Desired Feelings
The Desire Map asks the question "How do you want to feel?" instead of what do you want to accomplish? By the end of the book, I identified my four (now five) core desired feelings. Since finishing the book, I've added a core desired feeling and thought a lot about core desired feelings in general.
Lately I'm not sure I like the word "desire" and prefer to think of it as how I'd like to choose to feel since I think a part of how I feel in my daily life is my choice. Also, the word "desire" just feels very selfish and a bit empty - and Taoism talks about getting rid of our desires. I could go on about this but I have other things to say so I'll leave it at that.
Lately I'm not sure I like the word "desire" and prefer to think of it as how I'd like to choose to feel since I think a part of how I feel in my daily life is my choice. Also, the word "desire" just feels very selfish and a bit empty - and Taoism talks about getting rid of our desires. I could go on about this but I have other things to say so I'll leave it at that.
Book 2 - My Strengths
The second book, Now, Discover Your Strengths by Buckingham and Clifton, is a book and a code for the online StrengthsFinder test. After the 20 minute online test, you learn your top 5 strengths. I did it because I was interested in the outcome of the test but I also enjoyed the book and continue to think about two major ideas that were introduced in the book.
The first idea is that we should be building our strengths instead of trying to improve our weaknesses, which is what mainstream corporate culture is usually focused on. So the idea here is that when we focus on our weaknesses, we can improve slightly but our weaknesses will never become our strengths; whereas, when we focus on our strengths, we can improve much quicker and reach a much higher level of proficiency than we ever would by working on our weaknesses.
The second interesting idea is that we often devalue our own strengths and we don't focus on them or use them because they seem so easy or unimportant because we assume everyone can do them. Our own strengths come so easily to us (that's why they're our personal strengths) that we often don't even see them as our strengths or that they're very difficult. So when someone points out a strength, we'll often say (or think) "yeah, but that's so easy" or "no big deal" because it's so easy for us. But we need to realize that it isn't easy for others. And by recognizing these strengths and focusing on them in our careers and the rest of our lives, we can become far more successful (however we choose to define success that is).
Two of my top 5 strengths were Learner and Communication - so you can see how those two play out in this post!
Another of my top 5 is Ideation - which is basically that I get a lot of ideas. This one is the reason why I've brought this book up in this post.
The first idea is that we should be building our strengths instead of trying to improve our weaknesses, which is what mainstream corporate culture is usually focused on. So the idea here is that when we focus on our weaknesses, we can improve slightly but our weaknesses will never become our strengths; whereas, when we focus on our strengths, we can improve much quicker and reach a much higher level of proficiency than we ever would by working on our weaknesses.
The second interesting idea is that we often devalue our own strengths and we don't focus on them or use them because they seem so easy or unimportant because we assume everyone can do them. Our own strengths come so easily to us (that's why they're our personal strengths) that we often don't even see them as our strengths or that they're very difficult. So when someone points out a strength, we'll often say (or think) "yeah, but that's so easy" or "no big deal" because it's so easy for us. But we need to realize that it isn't easy for others. And by recognizing these strengths and focusing on them in our careers and the rest of our lives, we can become far more successful (however we choose to define success that is).
Two of my top 5 strengths were Learner and Communication - so you can see how those two play out in this post!
Another of my top 5 is Ideation - which is basically that I get a lot of ideas. This one is the reason why I've brought this book up in this post.
Book 3 - I'm a Scanner
The second book is called Refuse to Choose, by Barbara Sher, where the author identifies a group a people she calls "Scanners." These people basically don't dive down deep into one topic, but instead are interested in scanning lots of different subjects. They often have lots of ideas, love to learn (but not too deeply) and abandon projects quickly (or do not finish them). I read this and thought yes - that is exactly me.
I think that if self-identified scanners were to take the StrengthsFinder test, many would likely get Ideation, Learner and even Input (another one of my top 5 strengths, which is about collecting things or ideas or info or theories). At any rate, I'm still reading this book but am starting to think about myself and my strengths in a different way than I used to.
One of things she suggested in her book is to start a Scanner Daybook. This is a place to put all your ideas and just write everything out that you can about that one idea. So even if it doesn't go anywhere from there, you've done one step and written it out and you can refer to it later if you want to. Or your kids can see the crazy ideas you used to have.
Just doing this one step has helped me immensely. It's even helped me to get a bit unstuck in some of my creativity. Often, I would have an idea, start doing it, have another idea and then be torn between the two. Really wanting to do the new idea but feeling like I should continue/finish the first - and then I end up being paralyzed because I'm doing the first one, which I have no current interest in. Writing down my ideas in my Daybook is helping me to work through the idea and then I'll often see which one I come back to often, or can't seem to let go of, so I'll work on that one.
When I had the idea for this blog, I just kept writing about it in my Daybook, page after page after page, so it made it easier for me to keep going with it.
Another idea that I keep writing about in my Daybook is the continuous blog that I'll be launching with my website on my birthday. I look forward to sharing that with all of you.
I think that if self-identified scanners were to take the StrengthsFinder test, many would likely get Ideation, Learner and even Input (another one of my top 5 strengths, which is about collecting things or ideas or info or theories). At any rate, I'm still reading this book but am starting to think about myself and my strengths in a different way than I used to.
One of things she suggested in her book is to start a Scanner Daybook. This is a place to put all your ideas and just write everything out that you can about that one idea. So even if it doesn't go anywhere from there, you've done one step and written it out and you can refer to it later if you want to. Or your kids can see the crazy ideas you used to have.
Just doing this one step has helped me immensely. It's even helped me to get a bit unstuck in some of my creativity. Often, I would have an idea, start doing it, have another idea and then be torn between the two. Really wanting to do the new idea but feeling like I should continue/finish the first - and then I end up being paralyzed because I'm doing the first one, which I have no current interest in. Writing down my ideas in my Daybook is helping me to work through the idea and then I'll often see which one I come back to often, or can't seem to let go of, so I'll work on that one.
When I had the idea for this blog, I just kept writing about it in my Daybook, page after page after page, so it made it easier for me to keep going with it.
Another idea that I keep writing about in my Daybook is the continuous blog that I'll be launching with my website on my birthday. I look forward to sharing that with all of you.