Note of warning: This posts contains multiple swear words. Only read if you do not get offended easily.
Well - today I hit rock bottom! I'm writing this post because I needed to let it all out. I hope this post doesn't land me in deep shit - but I just need to vent.
You may be wondering what happened today. What did I do that made my day so shitty? Well, I did shit all. I repeat - I did ... shit ... ALL.
Well - today I hit rock bottom! I'm writing this post because I needed to let it all out. I hope this post doesn't land me in deep shit - but I just need to vent.
You may be wondering what happened today. What did I do that made my day so shitty? Well, I did shit all. I repeat - I did ... shit ... ALL.
In case you didn't catch all my oh-so-subtle hints, I'll clarify. Today, for the first time ever, I had a colonic.
A colonic is an optional procedure, that people pay money for, to have their bowels evacuated and cleaned with water. If you've ever had a colonoscopy, I think the prep for that procedure is quite similar. The intention is similar that is. You drink a lot of some terrible liquid and it makes you go to the bathroom like crazy so they can stick a camera where the sun don't shine. In a colonic the liquid goes in the other end, and is done for the purpose of getting it all out and giving your colon a nice, refreshing bath. The benefits are supposed to include increased energy, better sleep, better food and water absorption into the body and more.
If you want to find out more about colonics, check out this link.
I was very nervous to try it. But I had a "friend" that did it several years ago and gave a glowing review, so I thought the same thing as Roger Murtagh from Lethal Weapon,
A colonic is an optional procedure, that people pay money for, to have their bowels evacuated and cleaned with water. If you've ever had a colonoscopy, I think the prep for that procedure is quite similar. The intention is similar that is. You drink a lot of some terrible liquid and it makes you go to the bathroom like crazy so they can stick a camera where the sun don't shine. In a colonic the liquid goes in the other end, and is done for the purpose of getting it all out and giving your colon a nice, refreshing bath. The benefits are supposed to include increased energy, better sleep, better food and water absorption into the body and more.
If you want to find out more about colonics, check out this link.
I was very nervous to try it. But I had a "friend" that did it several years ago and gave a glowing review, so I thought the same thing as Roger Murtagh from Lethal Weapon,
"I'm too old for this shit."
Mainly, I was nervous about having a tube put you-know-where, but I have to say, it was just a bit uncomfortable and not painful at all. The grossest, although fascinating, part was that the tube was clear and there was a mirror above me so I could look at what was coming out. The therapist/technician did ask me at one point when I last had corn. Enough said.
I apologize if that was too much information. All I can say is - tough shit! Again, I apologize, I just can't seem to get my shit together. (There really are a lot of expressions with the word "shit" in it. I haven't even scratched the surface. I know because I did, in fact, google them.)
Now, several hours after the procedure, I feel great! I've been very thirsty all afternoon. I guess this will be another one of those long-term wait-and-see things - I'll have to see how I feel in the next few days.
All I can say is that I hope this post doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. Oh well - shit happens!
And in case you're thinking of getting one and want to know how I found a clinic, there is a Groupon for e-ver-y-thing!! I shit you not.
That was the last one. Promise!
I apologize if that was too much information. All I can say is - tough shit! Again, I apologize, I just can't seem to get my shit together. (There really are a lot of expressions with the word "shit" in it. I haven't even scratched the surface. I know because I did, in fact, google them.)
Now, several hours after the procedure, I feel great! I've been very thirsty all afternoon. I guess this will be another one of those long-term wait-and-see things - I'll have to see how I feel in the next few days.
All I can say is that I hope this post doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. Oh well - shit happens!
And in case you're thinking of getting one and want to know how I found a clinic, there is a Groupon for e-ver-y-thing!! I shit you not.
That was the last one. Promise!